4:Wardrobe Suggestions

Suppose you wake up in the morning and decide to tag along to whatever morning events will be occupying your Tractor Boy. You throw on a t-shit, jeans and sneakers and grab your very fashionable little jacket. No need to dry your hair and put make-up on...it's just an auction. Out the door you go.

Fast forward to when you are getting home and you're hottt. You just wanted to spend some time with him right?? Nice in thought, horrible in actuality. Your morning started nice and sweet. He took you for a bagel and you road nice and cozy along side of him on the bench seat of his truck. You went to an auction, where he ran into one of his buddies. As soon as the sale started it was like taking a 5 year old to the mall. One second you're standing next to him, the next time you turn around there's a dust outline of him as he's run off to look at some rusted piece of bended metal. Sigh...you love him, just remember that.

Lets just hope the weather was cooperating. If not by noon time, when the auction is coming to an end you're shoes will be soaked through, your jeans will be wet to your knee and you'll be freezing. Every single individual piece of metal has been sold separately. The day has been ENDLESS and you keep asking what he wants to bid on so much. 'Oh, at this point I think it's gonna go for way too much but I wanna see what it sells for'.

Right...that's worth putting your girlfriend through hell for. To see what a tractor that looks like every other tractor on his property will sell for. Sigh...you like him allot, just remember that.

Sale ends and back in the car you go. At this time he informs you that his buddy what's-his-face that he's been canoodling with all day wants him to stop by quick look at something on his farm. OK, fine, that falls under the code of the hillbilly. Help neighbors, get favors, get paid. It takes all of about 5 minutes to diagnose the problem. The parts for which can't be found until at least Monday when TSC opens up. The remainder of the 2 hours you spend in that barn or field you spend watching them drink beer and talk about every piece of farm equipment in the county.

You're so board you're about to burst into tears. Why oh why do we need to do this you keep thinking. You're hungry because you only thought to bring an ATM card to the auction and the RV that sells hot dogs deals only with cold hard cash. Sigh...he looks awful nice in the right cut of jeans, just remember that.

Now when the sun starts to set and the call of a nice warm shower is so tangible you can almost feel it a text comes in that his friends are down at the local watering hole and you're gonna go join 'em. Why would you need to go home first? It'll just take more time and you don't need to look great, who is there to impress?

You show up, oily hair, pissed off look on your face dressed like a trucker and smelling like a barn. All the other girlfriends seem to magically look beautiful and you look like you just came from the jungle. At this point you're out of 'just remembers'. He's getting an earful on the way home and not gettin' any for at least a week!

All of this could have been avoided easily by proper planning and being well informed.

Stock his truck with your stuff. If he complains just say tough and explain to him that this is like the time he decided to keep a mini flashlight and pocket knife on him when they went to pay his parking tickets at the court house. It made sense to him to bring it but no one else appreciated the value.

Go to the local drug store and find that cheap-o make-up that isn't great but will do in a pinch. The $1.99 type stuff. Get only the essentials to make you look normal. Throw it in a zip lock and stash it in the glove box. Stick a mini fold up brush in the center console along with a pack of gum. And possibly pick up a travel sized bottle of Tylenol to keep in there too.

Now for the strategy. Find the ruddiest cruddiest small sized tote bag that you don't value anymore. Stick in there a nice plain colored cute t-shirt, a pair of socks a small cheesy novel, a pocket umbrella, hair ties, some hand warmers and a $10 bill. Stick it by the door and the next time you run out quick you'll be set for all possible events.

Be sure also to dress in layers. As the seasons change, remember to change your 'boy cloths' wardrobe.

Invest in some long sleeved t-shirts, heavy sweatshirts, a Carhartt jacket and some steal toed boots. Stay away from the cute fashionable jeans and go for something with a lot of work in them. When it comes to following your hillbilly, they don't really care too much for how fashionable you look out on the farm. It's no beauty contest. Simple is sweet and that's what they tend to like. Not too much fuss and everyone ends up with a nicer day.